In part 1 of “How personal should you get with clients?” we looked into keeping your perspective as an external advisor, making sure that a water cooler-talk does not get you hosed for disclosing confidential data or bad-mouthing your company and into being aware of the potential pitfalls of calling the client “John”, while all his staff addresses him as “Mr. Doe”.

In this second and -so far- last post on the issue, let’s look at the frivolous side of things – and as requested by reader Sebastian, I’ll look at relations inside your firm as well.

• No getting drunk-drunk.Let me state it without evaluating it: In many countries, alcohol is part of socializing. You will most likely end up at a restaurant or a bar with your clients once in a while, especially after you and your team did a good job, of course. At those occasions, people will drink alcohol, and you will, too. Now – remember the last time you had a crazy night out with your friends? Hangover and all? You don’t want this to happen. It is ok to have a few beers, wine, what have you – it might even be noted negatively if you don’t participate and stick to your Evian, especially if your clients are the “hands on manager”-type. But you must not lose control - there’s too much trouble potential, from telling the client that you really hate the images in his office (his wife might have chosen them, or his kid painted them…) to spilling your drink over the client CXO’s Savile Row suit, the possibilities are endless, and none are desirable. Pace yourself, stick to low-alcohol drinks, eat enough beforehand, you know the drill. If you begin to feel buzzed beyond what you know you really have under control, pull the plug - shake hands, say goodbye, go to the hotel. There, it’s a good idea to drink as much water as possible before going to bed, and arranging for a wake-up call. Your client can come in late the next day with a dizzy head – but that is not accepted from people he pays four figures a day.
• NO intimate relations with clients. Never.“Don’t screw the crew”, you probably knew that line already. Getting into romantic – or… “temporarily satisfying relations” with a colleague is a potential setup for trouble, especially if you involve across hierarchy levels. This applies to your clients even more so. I admit, I have no first hand experience on that, but my common sense tells me that this is the way to go. Sure, we are hired to make our clients happy – but seriously, thinking about how meticulous clients can get over the smallest errors in our slide decks, imagine what trouble you are in if you hurt their personal feelings. Guys, I am looking at you. Don’t.
• What about relationships in your own firm?On to Sebastian’s question. Well – the first statement is already made in the topic above: Intimate relations? Think twice. Then think twice again. Again, I have no first hand experience, so it’s just my two cents on the topic… I wouldn’t risk the possible problems for a short-term thing. Be very sure that both of you can make a clear difference between your personal and your professional relation – even more so when you are on different hierarchy levels and might end up working on the same assignment.The same goes for friendships: It is great to get along great with colleagues, but you have to make sure that it does not affect your professional behavior. Be aware of the politics in your firm, and the culture: You don’t want to stand out by being too stiff, or too laid back and chatty either. Applying your common sense goes a long way.Last not least: people talk everywhere, and they sure do in consulting as well. I’d be cautious about disclosing too much sensitive personal information quickly… because basically, it is like it always was: Not everyone keeps what you tell them to themself. Only this time, the result might not be limited to your college friends having a laugh on your behalf – it might damage your career.

Have I forgotten something? Any of those topics ring a bell with you? Let us know in the comments!

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